Real story

As a child growing up in Hackney, Racism and fear had never been an issue until I was kicked out and found myself homeless with nowhere to go through meeting it ran away I was able to find a hostel where I stayed how little I knew before being homeless was so very eye opening for me it was the introductory to basic survival instinct.

The realisation that playtime was over and one wrong move could be the difference between life and death, this was never made more clear to me than the Hungerford Bridge episode.

The Hungerford Bridge extended across the river Thames from Charing Cross train station to what is commonly referred to as the Southbank and old 1950s, ‘60s style footbridge.

It was one of those hot summers day where the tips and handouts had flowing and so was the beer the three of us whose names will be not be revealed had spent the day in the usual way sometime at London connection then down to Trafalgar Square and then onto Leicester Square there we would hangout.

We would take the piss out of the tourists and making jokes and laughing at the usual pranks we did with people it was all going so well nothing to be serious about just the next fix the next show the next trick and so at about five it was time to go grafting to get money for the evenings drinking session it had been one of those days where we just didn't want to be serious, so very unserious a day it could be.

There was no idea how things would go down hill and become life changing in the space of two hours. I left my friends to go grafting not knowing that I would never see them free again the next day
I woke to find my friends were on the run and that they had been accused of killing someone by throwing them off a bridge in to the River Thames for a skateboard when I was told this I said no i do not believe it. We all had been together you cannot be serious. How, when, why, what, the confusion was overwhelming and it seemed as if the freedom dream had turned into a nightmare.

By the time I had got to London connections there were several undercover police officers there trying to following the group of individuals who would leave them to people that they were looking for.

One of them, a guy called Trevor seen always to be around as we discussed what we knew it seems clear.

It was not long for before I was ask to help the police with their enquiries but as they already knew that I had left my friends before the had left Leicester Square it was clear that this fishing exercise was exactly that.

After a week or so I got a call from one of my friends who told me that they need some help to hand himself in. I told him that he should get a lawyer and arranged appointments to hand himself in. It wasn't even five minutes later that two plain clothes police officers approached me ask me to help.

This is probably is the reason why I get so paranoid and believe in conspiracy theories:

Part 1:
Perspective on life change? - Homeless
The initial being kicked out was clearly unknown not knowing what would happen & when. Ultimately the fear which was overwhelming The rejection and abandonment leading to a sense of freedom
After a week being in the wilderness alone and lost I met someone who had been where i was and I went from being abandoned, alone to seeing a glimmer of hope/ silver lining - a way forward, an option.
So now days I remember that and look for it which is why being rejected is never been an issue since then it is there loss and their mistake and I am worth more Than the small mindedness individual who can't move beyond their small world for you.

Part 2:
Like in all processes we go through, there are stages.
The first I will call The waiting - the shock, the disbelief which can be all encompassed. The next stage is the justifying " but why would " how could " what made him do that

The 3rd stage is what can I do to help
- we get our self involved
The next stage - is acceptance
Like a drugs user cycle of change C.Roger
The drugs user will go through the following stages

1. Pre - contemplation
I do not have a problem, there is no issue , I can stop when I want.

2. Contemplation
Things are not going right, people tell me to get it sorted, but where is something not right.

3. action getting help

We all go through this process but its all about the time we take and how we do it.