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Myfanwy

from The Happening by RENU

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about

Real life story

What life was like before
I don’t like thinking about how life used to be like before I took this journey of self-reflection. I think of it as very dark. It was a constant loneliness underlying everything, which I’d try to avoid and escape in different ways.
I remember at times it would suddenly hit me how much I longed to talk to someone, anyone. Other times, it felt like a barrier between me and everyone else. Although I might sit with people, and talk to them about superficial things, inside I’d often wonder if anyone really knew me.

Self - Reflection
Being diagnosed with an eating disorder and admitted to hospital forced me to look upon my life with an honesty I hadn’t viewed it with for many years. I remember looking back and realising that deep down, I hadn’t been happy in a long time.

As part of my treatment, I was encouraged to speak about how I felt and responded to different situations. In speaking about my feelings, I was able to understand them, and so understand myself better. I discovered that other people had felt the same way as me.

Continuing this process, I’ve been able to view situations with a new perspective, and realise that there are always any number of more positive ways to go about something.

In approaching life with a more open mind, and accepting that I cannot always control outside circumstances (such as other people’s reactions) I learnt that I could share an experience with others, instead of attempting to “rehearse” a situation (such as a social event) beforehand.

What life is like following
I’ve learnt to value the richness of life. I value my health, social interaction, and rest more than before: I know their importance and I enjoy spending time with people.

I’ve learnt to be more spontaneous and live in the moment, instead of letting anxiety trap me.

I might still struggle with some things: I make the same mistakes, but I know that I can learn from them and recovery is a continuous process.
I feel more genuine in the way I interact with people; I also feel more in touch with my true self.

Spiritually, I’ve found God, and I’ve learnt how following him can fulfill me and give me more joy than anything I’d strived for before.

credits

from The Happening, released August 20, 2020

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RENU Berlin, Germany

RENU
(Renu Hossain)
Producer, Composer, Percussionist (Tabla, Cajon, Latin) & Curator.
Composing for theatre, film, dance, hosting her own nights, Percussionist for artists such as Grace Jones etc.
RENU is currently producing Filmy Electronica & Experimental impressions. 2022/2023 brings a plethora of new work, including a percussion/electronic focused EP. ... more

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